At Home with Icke and Jones

"Did you use my jam?" David asks, looking down at the buttery crater deep within his jar. "No, not me." Alex says, unaware of the sticky red smear running from the corner of his mouth to his cheek. "Must have been the Illuminati." David rolls his eyes and reaches for the fridge instead. "Did you … Continue reading At Home with Icke and Jones →

Three Word Slogans

Braverman had been working hard on her sign overnight. She'd coloured it in and everything. Rishi regarded it proudly. "No more boats." He patted her on the back. "Simply. Neat. Effective. Gets straight to the heart of the message. Love it." "You sure?" She asked. "Of course. What's not to love? We'll hang it up … Continue reading Three Word Slogans →

Planning the Coronation

"How's this?" Charles asks from the dining table hunched over a notebook. "Marquee and BBQ?" "Yeah." Andrew replies, sprawled across the sofa, but angled in such a position so that no one can see his laptop screen. "What wrong with it? You don't sound convinced." "Honestly, it's fine." "I was going for something different. A … Continue reading Planning the Coronation →

Corruption, Corporate Greed and Orange Juice with Pulp Triggering the Collapse of Society: A Theory

“It’s got a lot to answer for.” He said, apropos of nothing. I was in the Supermarket, reaching for some orange juice, when the gentlemen next to me declared this. My first impression was that I was being brought into a domestic dispute between this man and his personified orange beverage. And in those kind … Continue reading Corruption, Corporate Greed and Orange Juice with Pulp Triggering the Collapse of Society: A Theory →

Demand More From Your Declarations of Affection

‘Happy anniversary, baby. I love you to the moon and back.’ an acquaintance posted on Facebook. ‘Thank you, baby. Love you too.’ Was the reply, alongside a litany of other equally tepid and tiresome responses from others unable to let five minutes go by without forcing themselves into someone else’s life. But, of the responses, … Continue reading Demand More From Your Declarations of Affection →

Merry Christmas

Thank you to everyone who has viewed, liked and generally engaged with my work. Have an excellent festive time! Xxx

Pennywise’s Diary: The Between Films Years. Part 1

https://medium.com/@mattwilliamswriter/hacked-emails-reveal-what-trump-really-knew-about-ufos-429e016aa308 Day 379 Woke up feeling more positive. Can't just sit and mope around. Yes, the sessions with Bill and his friends did not go well. But I can see it now for what it was - a learning experience. Every performer is going to get negative feedback. That's something I'm going to have to … Continue reading Pennywise’s Diary: The Between Films Years. Part 1 →

Hacked Emails Reveal What Trump Was Told About UFOs

From: Office of POTUS To: [Name Redacted] Subject: UAP Briefing Thank you for your time earlier, the President found it intriguing and thought provoking and wishes to pass on his thanks. He does have a few follow up questions. Firstly, he noticed that you referred to them as UAPs and not UFOs. Could you clarify … Continue reading Hacked Emails Reveal What Trump Was Told About UFOs →

The Most [Information has been redacted] Day of Your Life

With the pandemic came a tsunami of conspiracy theories, influencing even the most steadfast of individuals. Unfortunately, today, that included Brian. ‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today.’ Brian began, smiling at the doe-eyed couple in front of him. ‘Brought together by love. The love of Gareth and Jenny.’ Friends and family had gathered. Laughter … Continue reading The Most [Information has been redacted] Day of Your Life →

The Alien Intervention

As the beam took hold of him, Henry knew what to expect. Growing up in the 90s, he’d watched the X-Files and Fire in the Sky. Strapped to a table, some creature with huge black eyes and long, gangly limbs would drill into his teeth and insert tracking chips into his sinuses. But an anal … Continue reading The Alien Intervention →